I’ve found it…I’ve found it!!! If you’re one of those writers who decides to wax the floor before they write, or if you are the sort needs to count the forks and knives before they write, I’ve got a better tool to assist you in your procrastination. It’s guaranteed to help you avoid writing for days at a time.
What is this magical tool? I’m glad you asked. Home renovation, my friends. It’s the ultimate procrastination tool. You’ll get so caught up in it that you’ll forget the book you’re supposed to be writing.
I’m sitting in my living room, or what used to be my living room. It contains but one piece of furniture – a sofa that is covered with a large drop cloth. Everything else is stacked in our library and kitchen. The living room looks as though a bomb went off in it and I feel as though I was in the room at the time. We’re renovating.
We’ve spent the last two days ripping all the moldings off the wall, removing the flooring, and using a mean ugly tool called a sawz-all to remove part of a wall. This was followed by a trip ‘to the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump’ (say it fast and you’ll get the proper cadence). Then it was off to the big-box store, twice, to give them all our money and to make promises about giving up one of my kidneys and possibly a lung to pay for everything.
Since then we’ve been installing drywall, sanding, filling, rewiring, and rebuilding. And, as I said, the room and adjacent hallway still looks like a bomb went off in them. But, as they say, we’re making progress, and in another day or so we may even be able to start painting. I think our daughter is searching for a new set of parents. She’s not comfortable in the role of indentured servant.
I’ve given up all thoughts of writing and I think my hands are too sore to do it anyway. So, if you’re looking for that ideal procrastination tool, renovation is just what you need. Me, I sit, in my living room, on the sofa with the drop cloth, and I just felt the need to write.